i try to sleep early. got into bed, 2 hours later, i'm up. the train is chugging, the leterbox downstairs shuts with a loud bag, the airconditioning hums inconsistently, the cupboard outside is banging repeatedly as someone in my 'wonderful' family tries to stuff something in, someone barges into my room and realises i'm trying to sleep but doesnt even utter a single word of apology, the chairs in the dining room draaaaaaag with a loud irritating screech... you get the idea.
i've not been online for a while. it feels kinda good. not having to deal with stupid msn's moods, signing me in and out of it by itself... school's been ok, but waking up for it is totally horrid. i'm so used to 1pm 'mornings'. one month of 'holidays' and i'm in this state already... things are going to get much worse after my 3month break. i didnt even GET to sleep till 1am on most mornings when i had to get up to do bidding, to do youth camp, to do afterglow, to go for rehearsals, etc...
now i'm thinking: i shouldnt have TRIED sleeping early. now because of the couple of hours of 'nap' which was supposed to NOT be a nap, i wont be able to sleep tonight. hope my south asia readings will fly me off again into dreamland... 8am lecture tmw and i'm not ready to go there sleepy.
what is this world coming to? noise pollution is going up up up. it doesnt help that i'm a darn light sleeper. now i'm going downstairs to throw a tantrum. i hate this estate. i hate my sleeping habits.
i pray for the day i will sleep forever... for then, nothing can wake me no more...
stargazed @ 7:13 p.m.
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